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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Farhana's China Trip Journal Entry 1

HI CHINA'S A BITCH! I COULDN'T ACCESS LIVEJOURNAL AT ALL, SO MY JOURNAL ENTRIES WILL BE UPDATED VIA E-MAILS.

In chronological order okay:
My friends and family came to send me off, I was jin zui touched, but didn't cry.
Damn touched~ I swear.
Went to check in, sparked off the metal detector. LOL!
The security people came to scan me, then made me lift up my shirt. Then they went "WHOA".
Female security guards (plural, note) says I'm very pretty and sweet-looking. So happy I walked the wrong direction and almost into a wall.
Darryl, my PiCC friend, admitted that he is really homosexual. Then I shouted YAY! in the airport, then all the Chinese men stared at me. Later on, they stared at my chest. Didn't know until Vanessa said, "Oi, the China men looking at your cleavage." Happy that someone said that I've got a cleavage, but unhappy that China men stared at it D:
Sat with Calvin in the plane (two-seater). Ivan and Timothy sat in the row in front of mine and Calvin, Darryl and Joanna sat behind our row. Seperated by an aisle from Calvin was Katherine and a few others.
Offered everyone my Jelly-beans. Played 'Guess the jelly-bean flavor game!'
Kept eating jelly-beans.
Sugar-rush.
Calvin and Ivan and Darryl removed the tube of jelly-beans away from my hands. I SCREAMED "RETURN ME MY JEWWIE BEANS, CHEEBAI."
They didn't. Hid it away.
Very sad, so I sang to myself.
Everyone around me complimented my singing.
But I asked them to go and die, and return me my jelly-beans.
They didn't want to. So I sang Damien Rice's 9 Crimes.
"Leave me out in the waste, this is not what I do."
No more sugar-rush, so I fell asleep singing to myself.
Kena poked awake for awhile. Calvin invited me to sleep on his shoulder. Then I went further asking, "Can I take advantage of you and prop my leg on yours?"
He said "What part of my body have you never taken advantage of?"
I LOL-ed. But he let me KAH my leg on his thigh.
Sleep until damn nice. Then someone whispered, "Your food."
I looked up at the person saying it and muttered, "Jewwie beans?"
"NO, air plane food."
I said I wanted to continue sleeping.
"Give you one jewwie bean if you eat up."
Woke up and eat. I now suspect there's heroin in my jewwie beans.
So I got one jelly bean after I finished. But I slide my arm into the slit between Calvin and my seat, and started feeling around for my tube of jelly beans at Darryl and Joanna's. Ended up plucking Darryl's leg hairs, on purpose.
Found my jelly beans. Then they tricked it back from me. CHEAPSHOT. KNN.
Reached Shanghai.
Breakfast was two bottles of Budweiser.
FUCKING COLD IS CHINA, me no likey.
Smoked the renowned Panda cigarettes with Erwin. Ze Yu smoked Malboro. BUT PANDA CIGARETTES IS 80 RMB = VERY EXPENSIVE, more expensive than Singapore's overly-taxed ones.
Felt quite good about it, because communist Chairman Mao smoked the same brand.
TOO COLD, felt an athsma attack recurring. Used yellow inhaler.
Vomitted in public at the airport.
Erwin, my fellow asthmatic friend, went ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY?
I replied by screaming FUUUUCgruuup- vomit vomit.
Ze Yu brought me to the drain, stood behind me, hugged my tummy and squeezed m stomach to his, to make me vomit out everything.
"VOMIT EVERYTHING OUT, DON'T BE AFRAID. IT'S CHINA, JUST VOMIT ANYWHERE. YOU'LL BE BETTER WHEN YOU DO."
Damn drama, so I snickered and vomitted and the same time. Smelled like Budweiser + acid + half-digested food.
Except, I think the food's all just jelly-beans.
Had puke all over my coat and scarf and handphone and inhaler. Erwin, Jian Shun and Ze Yu helped me clean up.
After all is done, we went to a restaurant and met other PiCC classmates.
Erwin asked Calvin to lend me his Fox Jacket.
Which I accidentally vomitted on later on again when no one was seeing.
Reached Shi Jia Zhuang (where I am now).
BOOOOORING.
When the District 42, where my school and my homestay mate is.
Homestay mate is not bad. Very nice girl. But nerdy, I think. But still nice.
Cabbed.
China man. Who says I'm pretty, thank you thank you.
Also said that my mandarin's very good. THANK YOU THANK YOU!
Gave me his number, and asked me to call him.
Made a tentative promise. Will call him if I need a cab soon.
Won't take my money, because he said he's made a new friend in me.
Asked me not to throw away his calling card.
I said okay. Then he complimented that I'm very nice.
Then I just laughed and walked away.
Went to my mate's house. Her name's Jia Hui anyway.
Her grand-father cooked us dinner.
DAMN NICE, no pork somemore.
He could tell I was half-Malay, because he used to be a pilot who'd go to Malaysia.
"The eyes, the eyes."
Then he said my mandarin's good. That makes him the 5th China citizen to say I speak good Mandarin.
Happy, so I helped him wash the dishes.
ALOT OF DISHES.
AFTER DOING THE DISHES, I WENT TO THE PC.
WANTED TO LOG IN INTO LJ, BUT COULDN'T.

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I think it's banned.
Sad hor.
So decided to e-mail you guys.

MY LIFE DAMN HAPPENING RIGHT. SO SCANDALOUS!

Labels: FARHANA'S CHINA TRIP

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